Tasks to handle 10-12 months before the wedding
Draw up an initial guest list
To do this, bring both families together and ask everyone's advice, so that no important people or distant relatives (who will be expecting an invitation) are left off the guest list.
Arrange a meeting of the families to plan the wedding
Organise a family afternoon or dinner to discuss the wedding plans. You will certainly be showered with plenty of advice, suggestions and recommendations, but remember that it is your wedding and you can organise it exactly as you wish.
Choose the style and level of formality of the wedding
In order to choose the venue, the outfits and the wedding decorations correctly, decide whether you will hold a formal wedding or, on the contrary, an informal one.
If you have decided on a wedding planner or coordinator, now is the time to choose one
Likewise, if you want to hire a wedding agency, it would be ideal to choose one that can provide you with all the wedding organisation services.
Share out the wedding costs, discussing them with both families
Talk to the members of both families and decide who will pay for what. Mention to them that there will still be things you will take care of yourselves.
Choose your best men and bridesmaids and, of course, your godparents
Decide who will stand beside you at the altar. Do not forget: you are not obliged to choose your closest friends, nor those whose best man or bridesmaid you were in turn. Try to choose people you feel you can rely on.
To choose the date of the event, go through the church calendar.
Before settling on the exact date of your wedding, go through the church calendar and speak to a priest to find out which periods are closed to weddings.
The venue where the wedding reception will be held must give you the perfect setting for the style of your wedding.
So you should not choose the venue most couples prefer; better to go for the one where you yourselves feel at ease.
Check the dates available for weddings with the priest you have chosen and with the venue's representatives, then set the date of the event
Once you know which periods are open for weddings, talk to the priest to see which of those dates is free. You will need to do the same with the representatives of the venue you have chosen. After speaking to both, you can settle on the wedding date.
Once you have chosen the restaurant where the wedding will take place
make sure you have signed a firm contract with its representatives.
Browse as many magazines and websites as you can, or visit a few specialist shops, with a view to choosing the wedding dress.
To get an initial idea of the latest trends in the styles, colours and fabrics used in wedding dresses, you can draw inspiration from specialist magazines and websites, and also from celebrity weddings.
Visit various travel agencies and ask them for details about different honeymoon destinations.
Gather as much information as you can about special honeymoon destinations, their cost, accommodation options and means of transport.
Gather as much information as you can about those who can provide photo and video services and those who will keep the party going (DJs, bands, MCs and so on)
Before hiring them, try to talk to people who relied on them at their own wedding. Ask those people for as many references as possible, and ask the suppliers for samples of their work.
Tasks to handle 6-9 months before the wedding
Once you have picked out a few dress styles, try on as many as you can to see which model suits you best
Try to choose a dress that suits your figure but in which you feel like a true princess. Take the specialists' advice into account, but do not forget your own wishes either.
Once you have chosen your photo and video suppliers
as well as those providing the entertainment and good cheer, make sure you have signed a clear contract with them.
Select the theme, the style and the colours for the event
Bear in mind that style is not the same as theme, and that colours alone are not enough to set the atmosphere you want on the big day.
Gather as much information as you can about decorations in fashion, the couple's favourite flowers, and accessories and arrangements for the hall and the tables
You can find all this information either in specialist magazines and websites, or obtain it from professional wedding planners.
Obtain special honeymoon offers from various travel agencies
Once you have decided on the ideal destination for your honeymoon, ask the representatives of several travel agencies to put together special packages or promotions for you that include the place or places you want to visit.
Visit as many churches and cathedrals as you can, so as to choose the most suitable one
Some couples will prefer to celebrate their wedding in the church or cathedral where their parents, godparents or other close relatives celebrated theirs. If, on the other hand, you are at the opposite pole and do not know exactly where you will be married, visit as many possible churches and cathedrals as you can in order to choose the right one.
Tasks to handle 4-5 months before the wedding
If the wedding dress has not been ordered, now is a good time to get this task done
Altering and fitting a wedding dress is not easy, so you should know that the dress must be ordered at least 4 months before the event. On top of that, you will need to make repeated visits to the dressmaker who will be altering the dress, so that on the big day it fits you perfectly.
Order the wedding stationery
Include the invitations in your order, along with the table cards if you have opted for them, and decide together with the chosen firm on the paper, the font and the decorative elements that will be used to produce them.
Look for the various accessories intended for brides
These accessories must include first of all the veil, the jewellery and the bridal shoes. Just as you did when choosing the wedding dress and the style of the wedding, here too you can turn to magazines, books, websites or celebrity weddings.
Book your honeymoon destination
Sign a contract with the travel agency you have approached and pay the deposit for the trip.
Settle with the best men and bridesmaids the outfits they will wear at your wedding
Decide together with them the style they will adopt on the big day, and try to find out whether they will buy the outfits themselves or whether they expect you to do it.
Set off in search of the groom's suit and the accessories intended for him
Decide whether the groom will wear a classic suit or a tailcoat, and choose his shoes, shirt, cravat, waistcoat and other accessories, such as a watch, according to taste.
If you are going to wear two outfits on the big day, start looking for dresses, suits and accessories for the civil ceremony
Some couples want two outfits for the big day. If you fall into this category too, choose an outfit each for the civil ceremony.
Gather as much information as you can about the various designs of wedding rings
Ask a jeweller to explain what types of metal are used to make wedding rings, what the differences in price between them are, and what style of engraving can be used to personalise them.
If you want to hire outfits, accessories or various equipment or decorations for the big day, book them now
Many firms have all their services booked many months ahead of events. Do not wait until the last month if you want to hire something. When you book, make sure you have signed a document setting out the type of service you have chosen and the date on which it will be provided.
Browse magazines and websites to find the most suitable hairstyles and make-up
Although most of the time this refers to the bride, the groom in turn will have to choose a special look (at least as far as his hair is concerned) for the big day.
Look at different options for boutonnieres and wedding favours
This time too you can look for them in specialist shops or online, where you also have the chance to put your mind and creativity to work and make the boutonnieres and favours yourselves, DIY style.
Tasks to handle 2-3 months before the wedding
Finalise the guest list and the reserve list
Draw up two guest lists. A main one, in which you include everyone you definitely want present at the wedding, and a reserve one, in which you include those who will be invited if someone on the main list declines.
Collect your invitations and the other stationery from the firm where you placed the order
Do not forget to keep a few for yourselves as well (they will remain as small, pleasant keepsakes of the day you bound your destinies together).
Make sure you sign firm contracts with the beauty service providers (hair and make-up)
Be sure to state in the contract the date and time when either you will come to the salon or the specialists will travel to your home. Also, if possible, include in the contract the total cost of the services you will receive.
Gather together all the documents you will need
Put together a folder and include in it your identity cards, birth certificates, and passports or driving licences, if applicable.
Obtain information about the various transport options, both for the couple and for the guests
As regards transport to the wedding, take into account the number of guests and the distances that will have to be covered. For yourselves you might choose a carriage or a vintage car, if the distance is not very long, or a limousine, which will cover any distance easily. For the guests, choose either coaches, if you will have many, or minibuses.
Buy your wedding rings and have them engraved, if you wish
To personalise the rings you can choose any kind of text (short, of course), a word, initials or dates (for example the wedding date, the date you met, and so on).
Buy the dress and the suit for the civil ceremony, if you have opted for a wedding with two outfits
These outfits can be bought from any shop specialising in occasion wear, and most of the time there will be no need to alter them.
Buy the accessories for the groom's suit
Shops specialising in weddings and events will stock, besides suits and tailcoats of various kinds, all the accessories the couple need.
Buy, order or hire various decorations and arrangements for the reception venue
There are plenty of traditional and online shops specialising in event arrangements and decorations. Look for one that suits your needs and choose the items appropriate to the style and theme of the wedding.
Buy or make the boutonnieres and wedding favours yourselves
These are small items whose price need not be very high. It is advisable to buy or make identical favours for the guests, but you can also divide them by category: you might give one kind of favour to the bridesmaids and another to the best men, the godparents, the parents, the relatives and so on.
Hand over or send the invitations to those on the main guest list
It is preferable to hand out the invitations in person, at least where possible. If it is not feasible to meet those people, make sure you send them their invitations promptly.
Tasks to handle 1-2 months before the wedding
Buy the alcoholic drinks that are not included in the chosen menu
By this point you will almost certainly know roughly how many guests will be coming to your wedding. Work out the quantities of alcoholic drinks in line with that number, but add a few extra bottles in case you need them.
Book the means of transport for the couple and the guests
As with every service you choose, here too you will need to sign a clear contract with the chosen firm. Include in the contract the date and time when you will use the company's services, the number of people to be transported and the total cost of the services.
Obtain information about wedding cakes and pastries
Arm yourselves with information on the various shapes (round, square, angular and so on), styles (tiered, flat, cupcake tower and so on), decorations (sugar, chocolate, marzipan and so on), composition and flavour combinations.
If necessary, send invitations to those on the reserve list
If there are people on the main guest list who have declined your invitation, send invitations to those on the secondary list. Do not leave this task to the last minute, as those people might feel slighted. Buy gifts for the godparents, the parents, your partner and the bridesmaids and best men — as a token of thanks for the help they give you throughout the organising of the wedding, buy your close ones small symbolic gifts.
Obtain information about the legal formalities for submitting the marriage paperwork and make sure you have all the necessary documents
You can get all of this either from the information desk of your local town hall, or from websites specialising in wedding services, or from wedding planners (if you have engaged one).
Confirm the bookings you have made, in person or by telephone, with the chosen suppliers
The key to good organisation is continual confirmation and reconfirmation. Do not hesitate to telephone the service providers or the people in charge at the restaurant or church you have chosen, because it is normal and understandable to want everything to be in order.
Take dancing lessons
Although you might feel you do not need these lessons, bear in mind that you will be a little nervous when all eyes are on you, so for a fairytale dance we recommend taking at least a minimum number of dancing lessons.
Tasks to handle 3-4 weeks before the wedding
Try on the wedding dress and the groom's suit at home to see whether the sizes still fit.
If the answer is no, turn to a tailor or try to return to the weight you were at when you bought the outfits.
Contact those who have not replied to your invitation and ask them to confirm or decline.
It is very important to know how many people will be present at your event, so if there are people who have not responded to your invitation in any way, we recommend telephoning them to find out their decision.
Ask the stylists to give you a make-up and hair trial.
Take with you to this trial the accessories you will be wearing on the big day. Do not forget that a hairstyle or make-up look can appear completely different when worn with a particular tiara, pair of earrings, necklace and so on.
Tasks to handle 1-2 weeks before the wedding
Arrange a meeting with the photo and video suppliers and with the DJ or the band
Settle the final details with them and state once more the services you are expecting. Be firm but polite.
Order the wedding cake in line with the number of people who will be present at the event.
Once you have chosen your preferred patisserie, choose your wedding cake according to the number of guests who accepted your invitation. Pay the deposit (if you are asked for one) and keep the receipt.
Order the flowers and the floral arrangements.
Include in this order the bride's bouquet and those of the bridesmaids, the candles and the floral arrangements.
Start packing your bags for the honeymoon
if you are leaving straight after the wedding party.
Inform the restaurant, the florist and the patisserie of the number of guests
So that there are no misunderstandings, pass on the number of guests at your wedding to the service providers you have engaged, in good time.
See to the final details concerning your appearance
Make sure you have finished your beauty, tanning and diet sessions. Also, if you want a new haircut (especially the groom), visit a hair salon or barber.
Buy the remaining accessories you will need
Buy baskets for the flower girl, ribbons and balloons for decorating the cars, pins for the boutonnieres and so on.
Tasks to handle the day before the wedding
Go over all the details once more
Gather the people in charge of arranging and decorating the hall and those handling the transport of the drinks to the reception, and go over the course of the day with them once more.
Settle the final details with the person appointed to collect the flowers and arrangements from the florist.
Choose a bridesmaid and a best man to carry out this task. If need be, they will also be the ones to handle transporting the flowers from the registry office to the reception venue or to your home.
Make sure you have prepared the exact sum of money that will have to be paid to each supplier.
Appoint one person (it can be a best man or a bridesmaid) who will pay the cost of the various services that have not been paid for in advance.
Buy what is needed to welcome the guests at the registry office.
For this you can buy sponge fingers and champagne to serve your guests at the ceremony.
Set aside time for beauty rituals.
See to your manicure, pedicure and waxing, and treat yourself (if you wish) to a massage salon, opting for a relaxing one.
Allow yourselves time to relax
After all the tiredness built up from organising the wedding, the time has come to rest. Opt for a light meal, and avoid alcohol and coffee so that you can rest properly.
Before bed, allow yourselves a few moments of indulgence.
Light a few aromatherapy candles, take a bubble bath while listening to your favourite music, and go to bed early so that you can wake up rested the next day.
Efficient organisation
Give the members of your family organising roles for the wedding day.
Appoint someone responsible for making sure everything goes to plan.
Ask someone to take care of the guests' transport, or to make sure nobody is forgotten.
Appoint someone responsible for the documents for the civil ceremony and afterwards, and so on. That way you will have one less worry.
Do not make hasty decisions when choosing the cake, the catering firm, the photographer, the DJ or the band.
Look at different offers and decide which suit you best, then book their services in good time. Talk things through with those who will be providing these services and set out what you want to get from them.
Get involved in organising your wedding as much as you can. Whether you are working with a team of professionals or together with your close ones, do not forget that you always have the final word.
Good manners at a wedding — how to behave as a guest
The wedding party of a couple of friends or relatives is a special occasion, which you attend out of a wish to be beside the couple on this beautiful day and to celebrate together with them. For such an occasion it is advisable that a code of good manners be observed, so that everything goes perfectly.
The couple's first dance
The dance that opens the party is the couple's first dance, and this first musical and choreographic moment is meant to express not only your love but also the essence of your personality. The character of your first dance is very important and must be chosen with care — you would not want to watch the wedding footage again a few years from now and regret a last-minute choice that did not satisfy you. Whether you are a couple of talented and passionate dancers or occasional ones, this moment must be prepared with care.
The honeymoon — the newlyweds' dream holiday
After all the bustle of the period leading up to the wedding and all the exhausting emotions of the big day, the couple deserve a relaxing holiday in a special place, or one dear to their hearts.
On the honeymoon, the couple can go alone, or the godparents or close friends may accompany them. Although it is said that the honeymoon should follow immediately after the wedding, many couples choose another time for their honeymoon stay. The length of the honeymoon, the period in which it takes place, the number of people taking part and the destination are all matters that each couple settles according to their own preferences and, of course, according to the budget set aside for this wonderful trip.
At home or abroad
The honeymoon destination should be chosen according to what you want to do during the stay. An exotic honeymoon, a rustic one, or an unusual one in a place few would venture to holiday in, may be right for you. Of course, you can also arrange a perfect honeymoon if you prefer to stay in the country, or at least nearby.
You are a new family, and you should step into your new life relaxed, happy and with many pleasant memories.